Shreekumar Ganesh

Okay. Everyone knows Tamil, right? If you don’t know Tamil, then learn it. 

Okay, let me speak quickly as there’s not much time. I thank Jesus that I am standing here today. When brother Joshua called me, at first I said I wouldn’t come for sure because, to tell you frankly, I don’t like big places and rich people. I am used to the slum area, and churches. So I said no. But after I spoke to him, I realised his humbleness, Rajiv’s humbleness, and above all, it’s Christ’s love that has brought me here.

I may speak quickly. You may like it or not. But I am not worried about that. 

When I first came, I saw the speaker’s photos in the brochure, and realised I don’t have anything to do with all this. I am not equal to the ones sitting here in the front row. I am nothing. I didn’t understand why I was here at all. I have not studied to the level that they all have. I couldn’t get admission for 10th Standard, so I had to go outside and pay money to a private tuition centre so I could pass Math and Hindi. I don’t have a big bank balance. I don’t have anything. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here.

As I was thinking of this, I remembered one thing. If you go to the police station, you will see Gandhi’s photo, Netaji’s photo, and beside them you will also see the accused thief’s photo. It shows how one should live and how one should not live. I am like that accused’s photo. But I am a unique thief. This thief — you know about the two who died beside Jesus, one of them was a thief who repented in the end? He went to heaven with Jesus in the end, you remember? That is the kind of thief I am! So, that is the most important thing.

This light, this spotlight, the claps, the praise — all of them are for Jesus only. I’m just a donkey… The honour goes to Jesus alone, who is seated upon me.

I don’t have much of a story to tell. I am a waste. What I feel is, you should not even put my photo up here. Please hide this horrible picture. This spotlight should not be on me. I don’t deserve this. This light, this spotlight, the claps, the praise — all of them are for Jesus only. I’m just a donkey. I’m just a donkey. I’m a worthless donkey. The honour goes to Jesus alone, who is seated upon me. I am nothing.

So, since I have come here, there’s always one thing I always tell everybody. You all have shoes or slippers on your feet, right? I am like those shoes and slippers. But the one who is going to be a crown on your head is Jesus. Okay? So if you see me as a slipper, that’s enough. It’s not wrong. Jesus is the one who washed His disciples’ feet. I am a son of Jesus. So I am at that level only.

If I have to say something quickly about myself, my father’s name is Shankar Ganesh. He is a music director who has done around 1,200 movies in Tamil, Hindi, and Kannada. My grandfather is G.N. Velumani. He produced the highest number of films with actors M.G.R., Shivaji – Padagotti, Paadha Kaanikkai, Kudiyinruntha Kovil, Chandrodhayam, etc. He has produced the most movies with actors M.G.R. and Shivaji. But as for me, more than saying I am Shankar Ganesh’s son or G.N. Velumani’s grandson, I am Jesus’s child, That’s the truth. 

To me everyone here is equal. I don’t see any difference between those seated in the front and those seated at the back. Everyone here is a child of Jesus. That’s all my eyes see. 

I come from a very staunch Hindu family. I have not come here to talk about religion, religious propaganda, or to brainwash or water wash you all. I just want to share a few things that have happened in my life. The clock is ticking, so I need to speak quickly.

I don’t see any difference between those seated in the front and those seated at the back. Everyone here is a child of Jesus.

I come from a very staunch Hindu family. Our home’s pooja room alone has between 200-300 pictures of gods. Beside them, there is also an altar to Jesus along with a Bible, and on the other side is the Muslim Quran and religious items. Each day of the week is dedicated to one god. I began to visit Sabarimala when I was in 3rd standard. I went to Sabarimala for 25 years. I was a very strong Hindu. I used to walk on fire carrying a pot. I pierced myself with the ‘vel’ (spear). At the same time, I used to attend Christian prayers in the morning at school. I attended chapel, church, visited dargahs (Muslim shrines or tombs), Thousand Lights Mosque — I would go everywhere because I thought all religions are one.

My mother was a strong Hindu, and during a time of problems, she was searching. We had a home, we had a car, we had money, we had luxury. The one who got my parents married was the late Chief Minister, respected M. Karunanidhi. When my elder sister’s birthday came, she would cut her cake sitting on respected actor M.G.R.’s lap. My father was the first person who made madam Jayalalithaa sing, and she was also a very close friend to my father. All these people knew our family, the entire film fraternity, Rajini sir, Kamal sir, they all knew us. We had everything — influence, money, onions, jaggery, every possible item required, even unnecessary things! Still, my mother was looking for something, but she couldn’t find it. So she started getting depressed and attempted suicide twice or thrice. When I was in school, someone would say, “Your mother drank poison!”, and I would leave school in a hurry. This happened many times. She did not even know what she wanted. 

Then she heard about the Bible and Jesus, accepted Jesus as her Saviour, and started reading the Bible. My father fought with her saying, “Don’t read the Bible! You should not read it!” He took the Bible and put it in the loft. My mother told him, “One day, you will realise that Jesus is the true God.” Life went on like that.

At school, I was not a studious student like Rajiv. I would fail in all 10 subjects. My report card used to be filled with red. I used to pass only in Moral Science, that too, only 35 marks, that’s it. I may have got only 34, and perhaps they added a grace mark. That’s how it was.

When I was in 8th Standard — no need to talk too decently, we all know who we are, let’s not pretend to be someone we are not. I started drinking when I was in Standard 8. Just beside my school, I started smoking cigarettes. Today’s grass, weed, ganja were all famous right next to my school even back then. I got into all these too. I got into more disgraceful things, but I cannot talk about them here in front of you all. So instead, let me say, etc… etc… etc… etc… you can fill in those etceteras with any nonsense you like. I was involved in all this. When? Before I even reached Standard 10. The Principal said, “Please don’t spoil our school’s name. Please leave!” So I left school.

I started drinking when I was in Standard 8. Just beside my school, I started smoking cigarettes.

When I left school, the most famous rowdies from today’s police encounters were all my close friends. I used to drink with them. One was from Ayodhyakuppam… if you check on Google, you will come to know who they are. These were my close friends. That’s how my life was.

My father told me, “Don’t say you are Shankar Ganesh’s son. You will be useless. Get out of the house!” So I left home and rented a house for myself, and looked for opportunities to act in serials or cinema. I didn’t like two things: When I was a Hindu, I didn’t like religion, I didn’t like anyone talking about religion; secondly, I didn’t like anyone referring to me as my father’s son, I didn’t like anyone mentioning his name.

So without mentioning my father’s name, I thought I could try out for movies, but they didn’t allow me into the cinema company at all. I tried out for serials, they called me in and the first thing they said was, “Have you looked at your face in the mirror? It looks disgusting! You don’t have height, colour, or anything! Why have you come to act?” Okay, so I joined as a Junior Artist. A Junior Artist is someone who is in the background along with a crowd while the main hero and heroine are acting. For example, as a bearer. So I started my acting career that way.

One day during this time, someone came with tracts about the Holy Spirit, so I took a look at the tract. I went home and told my dad, “Bring me the free Bible that someone gave us, a Gideons Bible.” He brought it. I took it to my mother and began reading it. One thing I understood clearly was: Every god, every temple has a history. But one God alone has a different history. He gave His life for the wrong I have done, shed His blood for me, and He is Jesus. So I entered into a friendship with Jesus. I told my mother, “I will accept Jesus as my friend. But I will drink, I will smoke, I will go out, I will do whatever I want.”

My life went on that way. My mother said, “Just listen to whatever your friend Jesus says.” As I listened to her advice, gradually, I had a thought, “What can I give to Jesus, the one who gave His life for me?” I couldn’t die in return. So I wondered, “If I  put some offertory into an offertory box, give Him some money, will it settle the score?” All the money in the world is useless. Jesus doesn’t need money. Many people use Jesus’ name and make money, but that’s a topic for another day. Sometimes, if we go to Tirupati, some people put crores of rupees and other valuable things into the alms box. Even that is better in one way, because no one demands that such things be put into the alms box. But certain Christians today ask for nose rings, earrings, and chains to be put in the offertory. But that’s another topic, we can talk about it later.

As my life went on, and I wondered what I could do or give for Jesus, I realised I couldn’t die for Jesus, I couldn’t give Him money. Could I shave my head? If I shave my head and remove my hair, is Jesus going to make a cap for himself out of it? There’s no need for that! So, what was I to do? Okay, I decided to leave the disgusting cigarettes, alcohol, Pan Parag, and all those bad habits. 

One fine night in 2004, I let go of all those bad habits. “Sir, let go of it gradually. You can go to the de-addiction centre, sir. By next January…” None of this nonsense! 2004 at 8 PM, I sat with an alcohol bottle in front of me and a side dish beside it. I said to myself, “No! Jesus sacrificed His life for me. I will throw this away!” and I threw it out of the house from the loft. It has never entered my house again, till today!

[Applause] This applause is not for me. I don’t need to show off. This happened only because of Jesus inside of me. 

So as I went on and on this way, “What can I do for Jesus, what can I do for Jesus?” I was challenged to do something in my workplace. 

At work, everyone would say, “Till yesterday you were a Hindu, you used to have a god’s sticker on your vehicle, now you have one saying ‘Jesus’. What is this? Did you get some money from America?” They branded me, saying I received foreign funding. I swear if you hear what my bank balance is, you will laugh, because I don’t take money from my father. I told them, “I don’t even know how many zeroes are in ₹10,000. Please leave me alone. I don’t have any such money.”

I sat with an alcohol bottle in front of me and a side dish beside it. I said to myself, “No! Jesus sacrificed His life for me. I will throw this away!”

I thought, Okay, if I speak about Jesus, they will talk about me like this, and I went my own way. In some churches they would ask me, “Brother, which church do you go to?” 

“I go to this church.” 

“If you go to that church, you won’t be able to get to heaven! Come to this church. If you come to this church, you will go directly to heaven in the upper berth of an AC coach!” 

“Oh, okay!”

Next, they would ask, “Brother, are you he or who?” 

“Sir, I don’t know”

Because as an actor, when you visited certain companies, they would ask, “Are you ‘avaal’ (a Brahmin) or ‘evaal’ (a non-Brahmin)?” I would say, “Sir, I am not ‘avaal’ or ‘evaal’ or ‘vavaal’ (pomfret fish), I am a man. Please give me a chance to act.”

These church folks would ask me, “Are you he or who?” I didn’t know. I said, “Sir, I’m a tubelight. Whatever it is, ask me directly.”

“No, are you a Nadar Christian or Dalit Christian?” 

Hearing this, I would tell my mother, “Amma, I will stay a Hindu!” 

At least in Hinduism they have only 5 divisions. Whoever is born from the head is upper caste, those born from the chest are lower caste, etc… There are only 5 divisions. If I come to Christianity, one says I am Pentecostal, one says AC, one says RC, others, I don’t know, I don’t understand! One says Dalit, another says Nadar. 

As a result, I thought, “No need! I don’t want Jesus at all!” But my mother told me, “If you look at Christians, you will lose focus. Look at Christ! You won’t lose your focus!” From that day onwards, I haven’t looked at other Christians at all.

The same companies that did not allow me to act at first started calling me and giving me a chance to act. Beginning as a junior artist, earning ₹1,000/- a day, then ₹10,000/-, ₹20,000/-, ₹30,000/-… Today, this face — take a good look at this face — it’s an ugly face alright, but it has been awarded 2 Tamil Nadu State Awards, Zee Tamil Award, Sun TV Award… I have won an award here in this same place where this conference is taking place. The reason for all this is, as Rajiv said, seriously, I don’t deserve anything! I don’t deserve anything! I’m the worst sinner!

Let me tell you the worst thing in the world. Don’t get me wrong, let me be frank. Today, I will forgive Hindus, I will forgive Muslims, they don’t know any better. They don’t know who the True God is, so they do wrong. But, in spite of knowing Jesus is the True God, the [drama] we do as Christians…! Aiyoyoyoyo… “Are you Dalit or Nadar?” “You come to my church.” “You come to that church.” Beyond all this, if someone drinks, they will smell of it and get caught. If we take ganja, we will get caught when a blood test is taken. If we are involved in promiscuity, one day the news will come out and we will get caught. These are the things we consider as sin. But inside all of us there is something called pride, sorry to say this, but Christians have the most of it. Christians have the most pride. This is the hard truth. That’s why I said, “Sir, please don’t put my photo up here, don’t say anything.” Without my knowledge, pride can come into me.

 “Sir, you spoke so well!” 

“Oh man! Please go, leave me alone!”

“Sir, you are super!”

If I feel I look good, it’s pride. I play an instrument superbly — pride. I pray wonderfully — pride. I wake up at 4 am and pray — pride. I am a big shot — pride. Pride, pride, pride, pride! If pride were a human, it would stretch and give you a kick in your face and push you down!

The worst thing in the world that cannot be diagnosed is pride. If you ever feel like I am the ‘fresh apple that has fallen from the tree’, I am the most holy, I am self-righteous, please take your phone immediately and take a selfie of yourself. You will have two horns and a tail behind you. Pride. Pride. 

Today, no matter what you do, if you have Jesus inside you, you will do that work well. So it doesn’t matter which profession it is.

They asked me, “How do you work in your workplace?” I won’t speak on the topic, what do you do for Christ in your workplace at all. When they gave me these topics, Brother Joshua and Rajiv sent me messages that I didn’t see. An actor, I am like that. When they give me the screenplay and the director says, “Do this, do that…”, I say, “Ok, sir. Ok, sir. Ok, sir.” But once they say the word, “Action!”, I am the king. Whatever I act is acting. They gave me talking points, I said, “Ok, sir. Ok, sir. Ok, sir.” But on stage, I am the king. Whatever I talk is the talk. They can’t control me. I know that. That’s why I didn’t see the messages at all.

They wanted me to talk in English. But whatever comes fluently to me, that’s what I will talk. You be you! That’s how Jesus has made you! All 5 fingers on your hand are not the same. You stay yourself. I was very clear about that.

Today, no matter what you do, if you have Jesus inside you, you will do that work well. So it doesn’t matter which profession it is. Some think it’s wrong to be in the acting profession. “Sir, in cinema, there are issues with women…” 

“Dude, there’s nothing like that!” 

If you have Jesus inside you, whatever work you do, you will do it well. If you’re in business, you will do business fairly. If you’re a policeman, you will be a fair policeman, you won’t take bribes. If you’re a politician, you will act justly. If you’re a milkman, you won’t mix water in milk, nor milk in water. If you’re a vegetable vendor, you won’t add extra weight at the bottom of the weighing scale. If you’re an auto driver, you won’t ask for money beyond the metre rate. It’s not important what work you do. What’s important is who is inside of you and who enables you to do that work. If you have Jesus inside of you, you will do any work properly. If you don’t have Jesus inside you, even if you do ‘ministry’, you will be a thief! This is the truth! I hit the nail on the head! That’s the truth. Don’t think that those in ministry alone will have a special halo around their heads and two wings. There’s nothing like that. All of us are here to work for Jesus! 

“When I was naked, you clothed me. When I was hungry, you fed me. When I was thirsty, you gave me water. When I was in jail, you visited me. When I was sick, you prayed for me, I saw it from the hospital.” This is what Jesus said.

Did He say, “I built 8 churches, you gave offerings toward the 9th”?

Did He say, “I wore a coat and suit, you bought me a tie”?

Did He say, “I was driving an Audi car, you bought me a Porsche”?

No. No. All the speakers here, when they spoke, they spoke about helping the poor and needy. Anyone can talk about this, anyone can preach about this. But practising this is hard. It’s difficult to do what Jesus says. When talking about religion, caste, denomination, if the word, “I, I, I, I” comes in, then you are Lucifer. Instead if you say, “He, He, He — Jesus, Jesus” you are a child of Jesus. You can find this out by talking to yourself. You can find out who you are. 

You do whatever job you want, brother — IT… or even if you are one of those from the corporation that picks garbage every morning, but only if you have Jesus inside of you, can you do the job well. 

So, it is not important. This job has challenges, that job has challenges — all jobs have challenges! Why, even in the church — no need, let’s leave that topic! 

So, in all professions, if you have Jesus inside you, you will do your job well.

Secondly, I don’t have goals. I never have goals. My only goal is to seek the Kingdom of Jesus, Kingdom of God. If you do this one thing, other things will come automatically. Why are you running after ‘extra fittings’? 

“Sir, I am buying a car. Will I get a stepney (spare tyre)? Will there be seats in the back of the car?”

“Hey, crazy fellow! If you buy a car, all these things come with it, man!”

My only goal is to seek the Kingdom of Jesus, Kingdom of God. If you do this one thing, other things will come automatically. Why are you running after ‘extra fittings’?

So, first seek the Kingdom of God, Kingdom of Jesus. All the rest will automatically follow. Automatically. You don’t have to even ask for it, “I want this, I want that.” Nothing is required. Just one thing, Jesus has given us authority. He told us to help others, give money to the poor and needy, help the poor and needy, pray for others. Do these things, it’s enough. 

If you say, “No, sir, when I become as big as the speakers seated in the white sofas in front, then I will do all this,” then you will certainly never do it. If you’re someone seated at the back or even on the floor, if you have two rupees, take one rupee and help someone. Only if you’re faithful in little things can you be faithful in big things. 

“If only I were to make it big in business…” — you will keep on making it big, but you will not achieve anything. Wherever you are, whatever job you do, do what you can to help someone else. If you cannot help financially, get on your knees and pray! Don’t look at whether your neighbour is rich or poor, Hindu or Muslim or Christian. If they are unable to pay for their child’s school fees, go and help them pay their school fees. At least help a little bit. For Christmas, rather than wearing a new coat-suit and sitting down, eating turkey biriyani, go and help someone by buying them a meal. Do that! You leave that and you follow tradition and you follow all this stuff. You’re not a child of God. I am very harsh, brutally harsh. You know why? Because my boss is Jesus. Only He is important to me. 

I am very harsh, brutally harsh. You know why? Because my boss is Jesus. Only He is important to me.

That’s why I say, you can do any work. No one would have had as many opportunities as I had in life. Mr. Udayar, the owner of Ramachandra Hospital is very close to my family. He offered me a free medical seat even if I got low marks. I hadn’t even finished my 10th Std yet. I said, “The police will strip me and make me sit in the police station. No need for such things!” My father used to say, “Loyola College is known to me, go there and study.” I didn’t study. My house has ten times the instruments here on stage. One day I would play the guitar, another day, I would play the keyboard. Yet another day, I would play the drums. There is a saying that if you give a dog a full coconut, it will keep on rolling the coconut to no avail. I am that dog. I wasted all the opportunities I had. I took the keyboard and gave it as a gift to Harris Jeyaraj. “My father asked me to play this. You take it, please.” Harris Jeyaraj has even mentioned this in an interview, I believe. I had every opportunity one could imagine, but I wasted it all. That’s why I said at the very end of his life, a thief hanging beside Jesus on the cross called on Jesus, and Jesus said, “Come, today you will eat with me in paradise. Come, let’s eat turkey biriyani.” I am just like that thief, having committed all sorts of crime, at the very last minute, with no education, no good looks… but I didn’t have one big problem, you know? I didn’t have much pride. I couldn’t say I was handsome, I know what I look like. I didn’t study, I couldn’t study. Because I was the bottom rung in everything, I didn’t have that problem. Pride is your enemy. Okay?Just because you have a Christian name, just because you come from a Christian family, just because your father, your grandfather, your forefathers are Christian, that doesn’t mean you’re a child of Jesus. That doesn’t mean you’ll go to heaven, okay? Okay?

If you are to be a child of Jesus, there are a lot of things to look for. Look for them. My time is over now. Thank you.